


Strawberry Shakes

by babyjabroni



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Am I Missing Anything?, Angst, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Mental Health Issues, No Smut, you tell me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 11:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18475600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyjabroni/pseuds/babyjabroni
Summary: Mac spotted the low-fat organic Greek yogurt at the back of the fridge two days ago and hadn't said anything about it yet. Its presence was a double-edged sword, a blessing and a curse. For Dennis, the yogurt was an early sign. Mac knew it meant he was obsessing about his weight again, but it also meant he was still trying to eat at least semi-regularly. If he didn't act soon and sensitively the metaphorical scale could tip and Dennis would fall back on his old habits.





	Strawberry Shakes

**Author's Note:**

> The usual warnings for iasip stuff but also disordered eating so please avoid if this affects you. No beta so some forgiving and forgetting may be in order.

~  
Mac spotted the low-fat organic Greek yogurt at the back of the fridge two days ago and hadn't said anything about it yet. Its presence was a double-edged sword, a blessing and a curse. For Dennis, the yogurt was an early sign. Mac knew it meant he was obsessing about his weight again, but it also meant he was still trying to eat at least semi-regularly. If he didn't act soon and sensitively the metaphorical scale could tip and Dennis would fall back on his old habits.

~  
Monday, 4:15pm, Philadelphia, PA  
~

"Dennis, I'm about to head over to Paddy's, you with me?"  
The man in question was standing in front of the open fridge, stock still, staring at its contents, deliberating. On the one hand a single cherry tomato wouldn't set him back but a first might lead to a second and third and fourth. If he chose a spoonful of yogurt, he risked Mac seeing it and putting the pieces together. After sharing a living space for most of their adult lives his boyfriend knew almost all of his coping mechanisms, habits and rules- not just his eating related ones either- and he didn't want him to worry. Dennis was keeping tabs, had a calorie diary running on his phone. Things weren't out of hand and he wouldn't let himself get that way. It had been over a year since his actions had led to a collapse and he was hovering just under his 'healthy' BMI. He hadn't eaten anything but a spoonful of yogurt each day since he'd bought it, but he knew he could go on until Wednesday at least as long as he kept drinking water.  
"Den? Did you hear me?" Dennis had heard but was still critically considering each of his potential snack allowances. "Babe, I don't mind if you want to take the yogurt-" at the realization that his roommate had already seen the yogurt Dennis' head whipped around to face Mac with a wide eyed expression "for the drive but we've gotta head now if we don't want to be late for Charlie's... Announcement?" wondering if he'd said something wrong, the end of the statement ended up sounding more like a question and Dennis finally snapped out of it to answer.  
"Nah man, you're right, we should get going or we'll be late." Turning away from the tempting fridge and swinging the door shut for emphasis, "I wouldn't want to get any yogurt on the sweet interior, she'd stain like a bitch." Dennis saw the flicker of concern across his more anxious counterpart's face but decided acknowledging it would only be admitting the emotion was worth validating and it wasn't. Mac hesitated for a second before holding his hand out, deciding not to push and hoping his pale partner would get a snack when they arrived at the bar.  
"Oh yeah, those cereal stains were bad enough."

~

Arriving hand-in-hand Mac and Dennis headed to the back office where the high-pitched bickering was coming from. Dennis squeezed his buff karate man's hand but otherwise said nothing in an attempt to steel himself for whatever stressors they were about to expose themselves to.  
"Oh, you boners finally got here." Dee had her back to Charlie who was sitting in the office throne looking scruffy as ever. She gave her twin a once over before making eye-contact with Mac and continued, "Charlie thinks we should slash our prices so we get more traffic which he says will help scare away the rats or something." Charlie's voice cut in,  
"No, I said we should slash the baby mices and throw them at traffic while telling them to come to Paddy's Pub! Dee what is the point of you being here if you don't listen?"  
"Charlie, throw dead mice at traffic?" Mac's voice had climbed an octave higher to question his friend’s chaotic idea. In an effort to find the right words, Mac dropped Dennis' hand to raise them in an incredulous gesture. He looked to his partner for back up and Charlie swung his chair to wait for the verdict from their unusually quiet self-proclaimed leader. Dennis felt the gang's eyes boring holes into him, an uncomfortable prick of sweat forming at his nape as he tried to think of an appropriate reaction to the underdeveloped scheme and not the slight tremor, he could feel in his upper thighs and knees from the effort of standing for more than five minutes.  
"Ummmm..." the three sets of eyes were getting more and more expectant, "Charlie, mice aren't baby rats and we shouldn't be throwing any dead animals for-" just as his response was starting to gain a little momentum, dark spots lit up his vision and a pulse of dizziness made him a sway. Without Mac's hand to anchor him to his side anymore Dennis mentally clocked his options. He could step forward and find his balance grabbing the desk in front of him, but he risked his legs giving out if he moved from the spot. He could reach out to Dee on his 2 o'clock but she might push him away at the unwanted contact and that would lead back to his first problem. Or he could lean on strong, warm, caring Mac who would support him but also figure out, if he hadn't already, what was going on with his boyfriend. Not wanting to make a scene either way and getting more lightheaded by the second Dennis let out a long unsteady breath and turned to his best friend just in time to sway into his large body. On instinct Mac brought his arms up and around his compromised partner, taking on most of their combined weight, albeit less than he had come to expect from Dennis’ side and finally gave in to the concern. Guilt clouding his face as he realized he shouldn’t have let it go on for this long. Charlie and Dee, who thought they were seeing a slightly out of character show of affection from Dennis to Mac, looked at each other in barely veiled disgust but were quick to clock on to the situation when Mac brought a hand to the back of Dennis’ curls pressing his head down to his left shoulder and said into the small office,  
“Den, you okay? Need to sit down?” There was a tense pause as the gang listened to Dennis’ slow and labored breaths, muffled against a filled out, bright blue, sleeveless shirt.  
“I’m fine. I don’t give a shit about the rat plan though. Gimme… a minute.” At that, Charlie leaned forward in his chair, both hands gripping the armrests, looking up at Dee for some sort of cue on what to do- how to help. Dee looked from Charlie to Mac, concerned but not shocked at the situation, she brought a hand up to her mouth, miming taking a bite of a sandwich and pointed to her brother, questioning Mac silently. Mac shook his head minutely before putting the question into the room.  
“Babe, when’s the last time you ate? I’ll de-shell some of the nuts at the bar for you if you’re up to it.” Mac felt the body he had his arms around tense slightly, Dee saw her brother’s shoulders raise an inch and took it as the answer that it was. Great. Before any clear decision could be made the gang heard the bar to the door swing open and the familiar sound of Frank shouting the usual greeting,  
“Heyoooooo- where are you guys? Charlie? Charlie, come quick if you can hear me!” Charlie didn’t need to wait to be asked a second time. He bolted from the chair and slipped around the dynamic duo only brushing Dee in his haste to remove himself from the potentially uncomfortable conversation that was about to go down. Dee looked between the door Charlie had left open and Mac, equally as tempted to leave the tense atmosphere of the office and lured by whatever it was her not-father had to say now that he was in the bar. Giving it barely any thought, she patted Mac’s shoulder and followed their Wildcard, shutting the door behind her. Mac was relieved to be alone with Dennis who was gripping the back of his shirt, head still resting on his shoulder.  
“Dennis? Come on, sit down.” Raising his head slowly and without looking at Mac, Dennis uncurled himself, let go and shuffled round to the vacant chair. Mac hovered nearby to make sure the man in the checkered shirt made it the couple of steps it took to sit but it seemed the threat was over as Dennis lowered himself into the old chair, looked up at Mac briefly before leaning both elbows on the desk and letting his head fall into his hands, fingers tangling into short brown waves.  
He had things completely under control. He'd started being more vigilant about his diet again after the monthly dinner last Friday when Mac had ordered for both of them. It was supposed to be romantic, maybe, but the meatball spaghetti with extra Parmesan had the part of Dennis which he'd managed to ignore for long enough flaring back up again. Really, it wasn't Mac's fault, Dennis had been doing so well with all of his meals and healthy snacks- in light of the evening, a glass of wine down each, it was the easiest thing to enjoy a meal with his long-time partner for their second “official” anniversary. It was only later that night, laying next to a peaceful and sleeping Mac that Dennis took inventory of the Guigino’s date and the meal that had broken three of his age-old rules; dairy, meat and carbs; started to haunt him.  
“Dennis please talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.” Mac reached a tentative hand out to rest on the shoulder closest to him. Dennis leaned into the touch lightly and some of the tension that had been building in Mac lifted. It was a good sign if his high-strung boyfriend was responding to touch this way. He waited as patiently as possible, couldn’t help squeezing gently, a silent prompt. Dennis breathed a drawn-out sigh. He didn’t lift his head to look up from the desk but knew he had to give some sort of answer. Mac knew him well enough by now that it was pretty pointless trying to lie his way out of it- he deserved better.  
“I’m sorry.” The hands that were threaded through is hair clenched and Dennis savored the feeling of his scalp pulling, the sharp pain relieving a little tension. He hoped it would help him focus, give him enough of a jolt to form a coherent explanation or something. Instead, the alertness shifted and he was tugging harder, more pain, harder.  
“Hey, hey-hey-hey, it’s okay.” Mac moved his hands to cover Dennis’ where he could see he was tugging at his own roots with increasing force. With deft fingers, Mac coaxed Dennis’ hands from their assault on scalp and held them in his own, swiveling his boyfriend around, kneeling in front of him to look into two blue eyes. Making brief contact, the cool, frustrated pair closed and Mac waited.  
“I’m sorry.” He repeated, this time sounding defeated.  
“You don’t have to apologize, dude. Just tell me what I can do. What you need.” Mac had been through this enough both before and after they had finally gotten together to know that when Dennis was in this half-starved, exhausted, frustrated and depleted state that he had to be cautious. The last thing he wanted to do was make Dennis feel like he was cornered, pitied or being controlled. All things the male twin was very sensitive to and if he felt directed towards him was a sure-fire way to get him to close himself off for any amount of time, often between an hour and a week.  
“I need…” Dennis paused and struggled with himself momentarily. He didn’t really know what he needed. It felt like no matter what he said Mac would say that what he needed, was a meal or something to eat. Logically, Dennis knew Mac would only say it because it was true. Didn’t mean he wanted to hear it any more though.  
“I can peel an apple for you. Maybe Dee has one of those low-cal breakfast bars you like?”  
Dennis sagged, but looked up silently. He held a hand out which Mac grasped with both of his. He hated that he made Mac feel this way, he could see the desperation, the concern and helplessness that he was causing and he was sick of being the source of all of that anxiety. Dennis took a breath, turning his options over. With Mac holding his hand, warming it, grounding him, it was easier to consider taking a course of action not for himself but for Mac. If he ate a peeled apple Mac would want him to eat something more soon after, Dennis knew the longer he fasted the harder it was to return to any regular kind of eating habit but the thought of breaking it made him want to vomit. Dennis pulled Mac closer to his chair, leaned his head forward to rest on the solid forehead in front of him. It would be easier to call a blip a blip if he could get regular before this went on. He’d been doing so well the past year. Dennis really didn’t want to put Mac through everything like the last time and so he put on a brave face and instantly regretted what came out of his mouth next.  
“Will you… make me a strawberry ‘shake’ please?” Mac’s eyes widened at the unexpected response but leapt into action before Dennis changed his mind. Closing the small gap between them for a quick kiss Mac stood up, hands still linked.  
“Yeah, sure! You want to wait in here? I’ll just be a minute. Or…” Dennis was shaking his head before Mac finished, he swiveled the chair back towards the desk to rest his head again. Mac squeezed the hand once more before letting go and reaching into the bottom desk drawer for the “shake” box the gang kept for situations just like this.  
“I’ll be right back, babe. You just rest.” Mac took the whole box with him and shut the office door.  
~  
When the gang saw Mac appear, alone from the office they stopped talking. Dee was the first to spot the familiar box of strawberry flavored meal replacement drink that her brother’s other half held close to his body and felt sadness and hope which she swiftly moved past. Charlie saw it next, he didn’t know exactly what the pink powder stuff was, just that Dennis drank it sometimes when he got this way. He’d tried it himself once but it didn’t taste that good and it made him feel so sick so he left the rest of the sachets in the little box hidden in the desk after that. Frank didn’t understand why Dennis couldn’t just be a man and eat a steak when he got hungry like the rest of them but he’d learnt to keep his mouth shut after the last time. The gang had been so angry at him that they’d frozen him out for a week. Even Charlie had refused to play Nightcrawlers for four whole nights and slept in The Crevice until Frank apologized. They sat at the bar watching as Mac ripped a sachet open and stirred it into a glass of water in record time.  
~  
Dennis could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He didn’t want the drink. Christ, why hadn’t he just gone with the peeled apple or a handful of nuts? Or even insisted on just a glass of water until he could get back to the apartment for a spoonful of yogurt? Mac always made him want to be better but as soon as he was alone again it got so difficult to remember why. And it was Mac’s fault in the first place for ordering at Giugino’s. It was Mac’s fault he was like this and now he was at the bar making him a vile pink meal in a drink. God, how could he get out of this. He was an idiot for getting himself into-  
“Dennis, I hope you don’t mind but I wanted to shake things up a bit…” Mac was in the office again, standing in front of the desk. In one hand he held a tall cocktail glass filled to the brim with the pink shake, he’d decorated it with a matching cocktail umbrella and two straws. It was charming but didn’t help lift any of the dread Dennis felt at the thought of having to swallow it. Mac’s warm puppy eyes were looking at him with such affection, and his lips turned up in a hopeful smile. Slowly he made his way back around the desk and knelt in his previous position, returning to eye level once more. He held the drink forward, not expecting Dennis to take it from him but, just holding it there as an offering. He could see the reluctance in the beautiful man’s eyes but held his gaze steadily, hoping it came across as encouraging. He tried not to let the disappointment he felt show when Dennis shook his head, trying to go back on his initial request.  
“Dennis, please? You sip from one straw and I’ll drink from the other. Just try a little.” Realization dawned in Dennis’ eyes as he looked at both straws, he felt a little bit of himself melt knowing Mac had planned for this. God, he loved the man. How could he even think of blaming Mac for his own issues when he was the most caring, kind human Dennis’ had in his life. With a shaky inhale he leaned forward slightly and put his mouth on the closest straw then waited. Mac read his cue and leaned forward to gather his own straw, his face mere inches from his partners. One hand holding the glass, the other moving to cup the side of Dennis’ face he waited. Several seconds passed and Mac caressed the skin beneath his thumb before Dennis’ cheeks finally hollowed, drawing sustenance up the red straw. Mac followed and the drink was drained slowly. Mac never moved his hand from where it was on Dennis’ face, he took breaks when the other stopped and when the drink was finally finished he moved the empty glass to the desk and held Dennis, proud and reassuring until he was ready to leave the office and face the gang again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I'm on tumblr by the same name so come and chat if you didn't hate this? I would love some feedback <3


End file.
